The Little Foxes of Unforgiveness

“Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil and ruin the vineyards [of love],  while our vineyards are in blossom” (Songs of Solomon 2:15 AMP).

When we talk about unforgiveness, our minds often go to the big, painful betrayals like abuse, infidelity, or deep wounds from those we trusted. But what about the small offenses that we often ignore as insignificant? The backhanded compliment from your friend about your appearance that you choose to ignore. Or, that family member that ignores your boundaries but you just excuse it as part of who they are. Or, feeling taken for granted and overlooked by someone you love, but because you love them you ignore it. They may seem insignificant at first, but over time, these little foxes can quietly damage our hearts.

Unlike major wounds, little hurts don’t scream for attention in the same way. In fact, the Bible reminds us of the importance of attending to the smaller matters. Little offenses are like tiny cracks in a foundation. One or two might not seem like a big deal, but if left unattended, they weaken the structure over time, until one day, everything crumbles.

These little foxes are not the same as someone obviously and intentionally causing you harm and are easy to overlook - especially when you are also trying to heal from those who have hurt you in bigger ways.

Let me be honest: Recently, I've noticed that I had feelings of intense animosity towards someone, but I didn't know why. There was nothing significant that I could put my mind to that they actually did to warrant how I was feeling about them. Every time I heard their name or saw their posts on social media, irritation would rise within me, for no clear reason.

So I took it to God. I asked him to search me and find where these feelings were coming from.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” (Psalm 139:23-24 NKJV)

It was unforgiveness that was manifesting. 

"But I thought someone had to do something significant for me to go through the process of forgiveness?" I asked God, very confused.

Then He brought to my remembrance all the backhanded compliments they had given me. The insults disguised as jokes. The comments about my weight. These little foxes, ignored in the moment, had built up over time, slowly seeping in to contaminate my heart.

I knew I couldn't ignore these little offenses any longer. One by one, I began taking them to God, processing each hurt and choosing to forgive.

Have they stopped with the backhanded compliments? No, but I have begun dealing with them. Acknowledging the potential damage they can do unchecked. And heeding the instruction to forgive despite the potential number of offenses.

"Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!" (Matthew 18:21-22 NLT)

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Smaller offenses from people like broken promises, insensitive jokes, ignored messages, forgotten dates, gossip, or not being defended can build up and require just as much attention as bigger offenses.

"Cast your burden on the LORD [release it] and He will sustain and uphold you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken (slip, fall, fail)." (Psalms 55:22)

God cares about even the smallest hurts. If it’s weighing on your heart, it matters to Him. He’s inviting you to bring it all to Him, because He longs to heal every part of your heart, down to the tiniest wound.

With love,

Gabriella Mwedzi